A Mompreneur’s Chronicle Of Life With Her Boys

Feeding is a contact sport

I didn’t realize that feeding a baby was a full contact sport. For the short time I did feed Jack he was generally a pretty clean eater. He did get food on his face, but for the most part he was clean. Will on the other hand is the complete opposite, by the time we are done both he and I are covered.

This is how a typical feeding goes.

  • Yummy peas! He grabs a the spoon and helps you bring it in his mouth, but now is hands are messy.
  • He is still learning to open his mouth big enough for the spoon, so he gets food all around his mouth and sometimes in his nose.
  • One of his favorite skills right now is to blow raspberries (or spit), until the last few days more of his food would come back out than stay in, now his chin and bib are covered.
  • As I try to get the spoon through the gatekeepers (his hands), I tend to drop some on his tray, which his hands and arms now get in it.
  • At some point he will rub his eyes and/or put his hand in his hair.
  • In the end his entire face (sometimes head), all the way under his chin and up to his elbows are completely covered with whatever he is eating.
  • As for me, I end up with it on my hands and forearms, if I am lucky enough not to have dropped any in my lap.

It is very cute, but I have to be prepared for the mess. I wonder what his means for him as he grows up, will he always be a messy eater? If he is, at least he will have fun while he is eating. The interesting thing is he tends to be drawn to veggies, carrots and peas have been his favorites, so far.

I think the key for us is to wear the color of the food he is eating. At least it is fall now and earth tones are in.

Cherish the moments

I was watching the Today show (Hoda and Kathie Lee, not my favorite, but not much to choose from) this morning while I was feeding Will at the gym and they were talking about happiness. One of the guest made a comment about how happy people cherish the small moments. It got me thinking about how in our busy, crazy lives we don’t notice those moments and it is important that we do, since those can be as meaningful as the big planned out events. Here are a couple of my recent moments.

On Sunday mornings I change all the beds and get the laundry done. Yesterday morning we were all in our bedroom as I finished up with the beds and Jim had turned on his iPod to the silly songs that Jack loves. Soon all four of us were dancing to Cotton Eyed Joe and You Dropped a Bomb on Me.

Tonight as I made dinner I looked over in the family room to see Jack and Will playing. Will was laying on the floor and Jack was dancing and singing above him to the kids songs that a toy plays. Will was laughing at him. (I love that little laugh.) It melted my heart.

Friday in the car on the way to Children’s the boys were laughing at each other in the back seat. I asked Jack what was funny and he said I don’t know, Will is laughing, so I am.

We could learn a lot from our children. An empty box becomes a fort or a costume. All the holidays are brand new each year. It may snow any day. A dog is a great buddy or someone to laugh at.

With all the things we have been through this year, I have to cherish the moments and remember them to get me through all of the tough times. Life goes by so fast and before I know it the boys will be big and not want to dance in our bedroom.

Another day, another doctor, another test

Friday we had Will’s follow-up appointment with Craniofacial at Seattle Children’s. Here is the back story… Will was born with a condition called torticollis, which means twisted neck. His head tilted to the side and his face turned up as his natural/at rest position. We think he was wedged in my pelvis, causing him to get contorted. With physical therapy and wedges in his bed and car seat we were able to correct it. Along with the neck muscle issues, he had some facial asymmetry and head flattening, which are common with torticollis. In June (when he was 3 months old) we went to see Craniofacial to have them take a look. At that time she said she didn’t see anything that would warrant further tests and give it 3 months to see if it worked itself out.

At the follow-up, the spot above his forehead was not any better and his ears didn’t look level to her. So he is going to have a head CT to see if any of the plates in his head have prematurely fused.  If they find that the plates have fused then we may be looking at surgery for them to open up the plates. The plates in the skull need to “float” to allow room for the brain to grow. She said that the plates don’t completely fuse until about the age of 20.

I am not sure when his CT will be; the scheduler is supposed to call us Monday. They will have to sedate him during the test, so he will not wiggle. Oh boy, another test.

I am not sure what to wish for. If they find the plate has fused that will explain his dent and they can fix it, but it means surgery. If they don’t find anything than will the dent get better and will his skull grow correctly.

We both are ready for things to start getting easier and for the doctors to stop finding more things wrong with our beautiful baby.

“I put him in the wall!”

Recounting our day at the Fair yesterday… How were the go carts? Jack said, “It was good. I put him in the wall.” We may have a future NASCAR driver on our hands. He got to drive some electric go carts (with a real gas peddle and steering wheel) at the Puyallup Fair and he got to drive with another boy, who was bigger than he was. As unbiased as I can be I must say that Jack literally drove circles around this kid. Jack was passing him on the inside and the outside, bumped him and put him in the wall. At the end the woman running the ride said OK 2 more laps. While the other boy did 2 laps, Jack did about 8.

The fair was an amazing day for Jack. Not only did he get to drive the go carts, but he also got to ride a sheep, do the bungee trampoline, the big slide and other amusement park rides. Yes I did say ride a sheep. It is called Mutton Bustin and is for kids under 6. They put a helmet and pads on them and then put them on a sheep’s back and say hold on. The child that holds on the longest wins. It is pretty funny and most kids come up laughing. He was in heaven.

As with the Fair there is the food. Jack got to have his first corn dog, elephant ear and caramel apple. It wasn’t a low calorie day, but it was the Fair.

Will’s favorite part was watching the draft horse show and looking at all the different lights. He napped in the stroller and in the Ergo like a great boy. Within 5 minutes of being on the freeway home both boys were sacked out in the backseat of the car. We had a great day.

I will try to get the video I took of Jack driving the go carts posted soon.

Will’s Eye Doctor Appointment

Yesterday was the day we had been waiting for since we made the appointment a month ago. It was Will’s eye doctor appointment with Dr. Avery Weiss at Seattle Children’s. This was the day that we would confirm Will’s Ocular Albinism and try to get as much information as we could from Dr. Weiss, who came very highly recommended. Needless to say I didn’t sleep that well the night before. Overall the appointment was good. I think we got most of our questions answered.

Dr. Weiss confirmed the diagnosis of Ocular Albinism (OA) as we expected. All the other tests helped us establish a vision baseline and give us an idea of where he might end up (we will have a much better idea in 6 months).

The first thing they did was test his visual acuity again. This was the same test that Dr. Barrall performed when we saw her. This time he tested in the normal range (before he was below normal). This is his acuity, not his vision. They also tested his vision (to determine if he needed glasses) and he doesn’t need glasses at this time. With OA his vision will continue to get better up to a point (unlike a typical child’s vision), then it will level off and not improve while normal eyes would continue to improve. The eye continue to develop until the age of 3-4.

They looked at his nystagmus and determined that it is slow low amplitude nystagmus, which is conjugate, horizontal and pendular at a rate of 3-5 degrees and 1-2 hertz. This means his nystagmus is not that bad and he should learn how to compensate for it as he grows up. It appears that he is adopting a chin down posture to minimize his nystagmus. Jim and I have already started to notice this and think it is getting a bit better, his eyes not moving as much as they once did.

His eyes were then dilated to look at the back of his retina. He has macular hypoplasia and no melanin pigment in his retina, consistent with his previous diagnosis of OA. Based on this, Dr. Weiss surmised that his vision would probably fall into the 20-60 to 20-80 range. Someone with 20-60 vision is only able to see from 20 feet away what a person with 20-20 vision could see from 60 feet away. Unfortunately defects in the retina cannot be corrected with glasses. Only optics defects (in the lens) can be corrected by glasses.

He will also have binocularity deficiencies. Binocular vision incorporates images from two eyes simultaneously. The slight differences between the two images seen from slightly different positions make it possible to perceive distances between objects, or depth perception. With OA, the connections between the eyes are not wired correctly, so it makes it harder for them to make the complete image. What role this will play ultimately we will have to wait to see.

One of the interesting things that came out of the appointment was the Jack and I also have iris transillumination and both cases may actually be worse than Will’s. He dilated one of my eyes (which is a very strange sensation and I looked really weird too) to look at my retina. I have a normal retina and after Lasik surgery have normal vision. Jack has not showed any signs to date of any vision issues and appears to see and read fine (he sees better than Mom and Dad). The Doctor will do a complete exam on Jack at our next visit.

In the end, we came out with a confirmation of the diagnosis, a better idea of where his vision will fall and a better understanding of OA. We liked Dr. Weiss and were very comfortable with him. He wants to see Will in 6 months and did not feel there was a need to do further genetics testing to either confirm his condition or rule out other related conditions.

In our next exam, he will be able to plot on the curve where Will’s vision will likely end up. It was a long appointment (4 hours), but a good one. We are cautiously optimistic, but know that Will’s vision will be impaired for the rest of his life and never be normal. However, it was good to confirm what we are dealing with, establish a benchmark for his visual development and add a critical member to his healthcare treatment team. As a reminder, the Vision section on this blog has a lot of questions and answers regarding his condition and what we can expect.

6 months old!

I can’t believe Will is 6 months old today. The time is going so fast. It feels like I was just meeting him in the operating room as he pooped and peed his way into the world. (His body decided to let everything go right after he came out.) It has been a busy six months, back and forth to California 3 times, visits from YaYa and Auntie Jean and lots of doctor appointments. Not to mention his milestones, holding his head up, rolling over, sitting up, getting 2 teeth and mastering the jumper.

In some ways he seems older, because I flash back to Jack and what he was doing during the same time of year. I have to remind myself that he is really 2 months younger than Jack was that this time of year. It doesn’t help that he is wearing the same clothes that Jack did. (very nice for the pocketbook)

We are excited for the milestones he will reach in the next six months. (Maybe one will be tomorrow cheering the Huskies to a win over USC.) I will have to start thinking about his first birthday party. Unfortunately he will not be able to dive into the frosting, unless Auntie Steffi can figure out how to make dairy free frosting.

Acknowledging the fear

Yesterday I met with Robin Glass our feeding therapist to work with Will on solid feeding. (Side note – he is taking a bit longer to get the hang of it, so we are seeing her for pointers. More in that in another post.) After Will finished his solids session, she sat and watched me feed him his bottle and we chatted. This week has been a difficult one for us, because Will has been cranky, uncomfortable and not wanting to eat very well; Monday being the hardest day.

As I told her about the week she said “it is good that you aren’t letting the fear run away with you. You are acknowledging that you have the fear, which is good, but managing it within the current situation.” I responded by saying that I was trying to do that, because for us the fear of what happened with Jack’s eating is always there. There isn’t anyway it can’t be with all we went through to get him where he is today. I work really hard not to overreact to subtle ups and downs with Will’s eating, since that is normal baby stuff (normal baby stuff?!, we actually get something “normal” for a change.)

I told her that everything that went on 6 weeks ago, his eating dipping down and then recovering after we made some changes to his routine (thickening his formula and more on demand feeding) has helped me realize that he is a different child and I can start to put the fear in the back of my mind. It all came racing forward in early August, but we figured it out and him out and got the ship righted again. Jack never recovered, for him once the downhill slide started it never came back.

The last thing she said to me was Will doesn’t refuse food, he just lets us know when he is done. Will is engaged in the bottle and feeding until he gets full/done and then lets us know. Jack wouldn’t engage, he would eat just enough to get rid of whatever hunger pain he had and then scream to stop. For him he never relaxed into the process which Will does do.

It is so helpful to have her around, even if our visits are more for me than Will. In some way Will’s doctors have become our therapists as well (especially our pediatrician.) I don’t know where we would be without them. Thank you Robin for letting me know it is OK to acknowledge the fear so it will not run away with me.

Mom on the run

I feel like all I do is run these days and I am always behind. There is never enough time in the day, minutes before naptime, space in between feedings, etc. to get everything done. Maybe my expectations about what I should accomplish are to high or the endless list of to dos that make me feel frazzled. It seems like I live in my car already and the boys aren’t in school (Jack is in preschool, does that count?) or activities yet. What will I feel like when I have one in elementary school with activities and the other in junior high with sports practices. I am exhausted thinking about it already.

I know there are things on my list that I choose to put there and don’t need to do, but I just can’t give them up, like making Halloween costumes. I just can’t bring myself to buy their Halloween costumes since I can sew and am creative. I don’t have anything against store bought costumes, but I just can’t do it. My mom made our costumes and I just feel like I need to. Plus that stuff is therapy for me.

In the middle of everything I am still trying to get something in for me, which for right now is going to the gym. I try to make it 3 days a week (if I can’t make a day I try to at least go for a walk at home). That keeps me feeling OK and helps with trying to get the baby weight off.

I have found that there are good and hard things about having the boys four years apart. The nice things are Jack is pretty self-sufficient, he can get himself dressed, is potty trained and will play by himself in his playroom. It is harder because he has activities already, like school and playing with his friends. So we have a schedule that we have to keep and work around. Even with our challenges I am still glad that we have the space between them that we do. I think I would be really going crazy with a 2 year old; I don’t know how my friends with kids 2 years apart do it. 

At some point I know that things will settle out. We will get into a routine with the two boys and we will not be heading to Children’s once or twice a week. Maybe then I will work my way through my to do list.

Packing up clothes

Today I was working in Will’s room, packing up clothes that he has out grown and got a little sad. We are not going to have any more children, so this is the last time these clothes will be used by my kids. (They will move on to my sister, so hopefully they will be used again.) When I packed up the clothes after Jack was finished with them I thought maybe we would have another boy and they would get used again. Even though I wasn’t sure then if we use them again the possibility was there. This time it is done and made me a bit sad.

As I folded all of the clothes I thought about who gave them to us and when they wore them. Some of the clothes were new for Will, like the see you later alligator outfit and the outfit he wore to my cousin Aaron’s wedding. Then there were the clothes that both boys wore, the little blue one piece with worms and the chicks dig me onesie. I thought, “did I take enough photos of these so I will remember them all,” since neither of the boys will.

Believe me I don’t want to have another baby, I am so happy with my little family. I just think of things that I do with William and say this is the last time I will be doing this with my kids, like bathing him in the sink at my parents house or carrying him in the bucket carseat. There will be a lot of these things over the years as he grows up. I will hold all of these wonderful memories with me and try to tell him enough of them so he will remember them too.

Will is sitting

Will SittingWell technically he probably has been sitting for a couple weeks now, but he would usually only be upright for a short time before toppling over. Once he started to lean, the big melon takes over, gravity brings him down pretty quickly. In the last several days he has gotten much more stable and will even right himself pretty well (the melon still wins and brings him down periodically.)

As any parent does we are checking development milestones off the list and this is a big one. This is one that is funny tho, because it is such a gradual lead up to success, not like rolling over, crawling or walking were they weren’t one day, the next day they start and by the third day they are good at it. Sitting up like holding their head up is so much more gradual. You prop them up and the stay up for little bits of time and eventually they get better and better at it. Jim said they other day “Wow he is sitting.”

Sitting is also one of those milestones that make life easier for Mom. Now instead of having to find a good place to lay him down, you can just sit him on the floor (a clean floor of course) or in the shopping cart or with his brother and a toy. Today, Will decided he was done at the Kids Klub at our gym before I was ready, so he came and sat on a towel while I finished up. The other nice thing is he can look at his toes if you don’t have a toy handy. Will’s toes are his favorite body part right now (I am sure that will change when he gets older.) He just needs to eat them all the time, if he is laying down up come the feet and if he is sitting down goes the face. The other night he tried to get them while he was in the bath tube and was surprised every time he put his face in the water. I just wish I was that flexible now.

So here is to sitting up, another big milestone to check off for Will. Daddy has already started “crawling lessons.”