Photo Friday

Photo Friday – Orange Hat
Orange hat
We were skiing this week at Mt. Bachelor. On Tuesday we went into Bend to see the town. On our walk Will decided he didn’t want to wear his hat. Don’t you think it looks good on me. Thanks for capturing it Paul.

Photo Friday

Photo Friday – David J. Fanning Memorial Golf Tournament 2012

us@DJFMGT2012.jpg

Katie@DJFMGT2012.jpg

This week was the 2nd annual David J. Fanning Memorial Golf Tournament, in honor of a good friend who passed away two years ago. Just like last year it was held at Suncadia’s Tumble Creek Golf Course. The turnout was even better this year with more golfers and hole sponsors. Jim and Steve did a wonderful job putting on a great event. Katie, Dave’s widow, made the cloudy day bright with her sunny smile and spirit throughout the course. Jim’s team came in 2nd, while the ladies foursome proudly held our own, not finishing last. We all can’t wait for next year and hope that Dave will talk with someone and line up some better weather.

Celebrating Modern Fatherhood

Boys on LightshipCelebrating Father’s Day this week made me think a lot about parenting and modern fatherhood. It is amazing how much fatherhood has changed since our grandfathers and fathers raised children.

The images of fatherhood in the 1950s, 1960s and even 1970s is that of a father as the figurehead of the family. In many cases, the mother was the nurturing one, providing most of the day-to-day child care. Sure the father was home for dinner each night, but how often did you see them helping with homework or driving carpool. Today’s modern dad drives carpool, volunteers at school and helps with homework.

Parenting in general has changed. Now team parenting is much more common; sure, back then there were some families already doing this, but it wasn’t the norm as it is today. Modern families are using the strengths of both parents to provide their children with the support and care most appropriate. If the dad is better at math, then they help with the math homework. It isn’t just assumed that the primary job of parenting falls to the mother, even if she is staying at home. This way children see the strength of a team and how their parents can work together to provide a complete home.

Boys summer 2012Modern fathers should be applauded for being active in daily family life. Raising kids isn’t just about family vacations or holidays; it is about reading stories every night, working on school projects and meeting the bus.

As a mom raising two boys, I am so happy to have Jim setting such a profound example for our kids. He reads with Jack every night. He takes them to run errands and has them play in the garage while he is working on projects. The boys love spending time with him and he with them.

We should celebrate modern fatherhood not only on Father’s Day, but also throughout the year. Fathers can provide unique gifts to their children and are wonderful team mates to their partners.

Photo Friday

Photo Friday – Go Carting in Long Beach

Last week on our spring break trip we came across a go cart place in Long Beach, WA. When Jim handed over tickets for himself and Jack the attendant asked if Will was going to ride too. Little did we know that he could ride with Jim. Boy did they all have fun.

and  then, she {snapped}

Caring For Your Marriage

Last week one of my favorite bloggers, Kristen Howerton from Rage Against the Minivan, wrote a post in response to the question should marriages be work? That might be over simplifying the post so please read it for yourself. She was inspired to do so after reading another blogger’s post on marriage and after a debate ensued in the blog comments section. These posts and comments prompted me to think, do successful relationships require work?

The debate seemed to be centered around the word “work.” I actually think a better way of defining it is strong relationships require care and feeding, similar to raising a child. Sometimes that care will be easy and sometimes it will be hard. The true test of your relationship is how hard you want to push through the hard times, putting in the effort because you know that it will be more than worth it in the long run. That is not to say that all relationships can be fixed with effort — some can’t and then it is best to call it quits.

Any parent will tell you that raising children is hard. There are easy times and really hard times (with a lot of mundane in between). I am a believer that the way you handle the hard times with your children shapes your good times. And it really isn’t much different with marriages.

It would be easy to say that marriage should always be bliss, flowers, champagne and chocolate, but that is fantasyland (sometimes I would love to live there). Even in the best relationships, that phase wears off and you settle into real life and real life has plenty of potholes to drive through. The true test is how you re-sync your relationship when it gets a little out of alignment.

My marriage hasn’t always been easy, but I can say it hasn’t been extraordinarily difficult either. We have had our share of stressful situations, including job losses, personal and childrens’ health issues, but we always find a way back to each other. We both care for our relationship and put in the effort to support one another in times of need. Sometimes it is hard to communicate how I am feeling or what I need at that particular moment, but I always try to find a way. And through successful communication, I know the same is true for Jim.

So what do you think, should good relationships require care or work?

Photo Friday

Photo Friday – Husky Colors

Last weekend was the final home game in the current version of Husky Stadium (renovation started this week) and the game was against the hated Oregon Ducks. Jim and I decided to go all out showing our Husky pride with face painting and color hair spray. What you can’t see is Jim’s gold W on the back of his head. Unfortunately it didn’t bring our beloved Dawgs luck and we still lost, although we went down with style.

Photo Friday

Photo Friday – Backyard Pirate Ship

pirate flag

The boys have been wanting a pirate flag for the top of their fort. Jim had some left over wood and made one for them. They even helped him paint it. So Captain Jack and Pirate Will just need a steering wheel to complete the ship.

Photo Friday

Photo Friday – David J. Fanning Memorial Golf Tournament

fanningmemorial

Tuesday we spent the day at Suncadia’s Tumble Creek Golf Club honoring a good friend who died last year. The first annual David J. Fanning Memorial Golf Tournament, organized by Jim and another friend, Steve, was a grand event. There were 20 foursomes and a number of volunteers who came from all over to spend the day raising money for one of Dave’s favorite charities. Between the two organizers is Katie, Dave’s widow, who graciously joined us for the day. It was a beautiful day complete with tremendous trophies using some of Dave’s old helmets. We all can’t wait for next years event to come together again and remember Dave.

Getting To Know You

This post is part of the Project Marriage monthly challenge. June’s writing prompt was “your love story,” we could pick an aspect of our story to tell.

As part of my office makeover project, I found a box of things I have kept from the days when Jim and I first met. Even though it was almost 13 years ago it brought me right back to those days, full of hope and anticipation.

We met at a famous Seattle martini bar on a Saturday night. I was out at with some friends and so was he. Our groups ended up merging after a funny interaction while I was in line for the ladies room; a long story for another time. After some drinks and dancing, we exchanged information.

When I arrived at the office Monday morning I sent him an email asking him to dinner. Yes, I asked him out, thank you very much. Truth be told, he was going to call me, but he saw my email first. We made a date for Wednesday evening.

Over the next two plus days we emailed back and forth getting to know each other. We covered all sorts of topics including, families, siblings, careers and personal interests. By spending this time getting to know each other we had background on each other by the time we got to dinner. A few months later I printed the emails and gave them to him.

One thing still makes me laugh even reading them now. We picked a restaurant that was known for a good wine list. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him that my family was in the wine business or wait until after he picked the wine on our date. When I confessed my connection in email I got a very surprised and relieved response. Although it probably put more pressure on the wine choice that night, which we chose together.

It was fun to reread those emails, remembering those fun days, waiting for the next email to come in. Then trying to decide what flirty language to use, wondering what funny thing he was going to say. Eleven years of marriage, two boys and a yellow lab later I am so happy that I emailed him and asked him out.

Photo Friday

Photo Friday – 11 years of wedded bliss

wedding

Today is our eleventh wedding anniversary. In honor of that historic day I thought I would dig out an old wedding photo. For anyone who wasn’t there that day about 30 minutes later it was pouring rain. Luckily we had a tent and the party went on until late that night. We finished the night off at a local bar with part of our wedding party. Happy anniversary Jim!