A mompreneur's chronicle of life with her boys.
Photo Friday – Go Carting in Long Beach
Last week on our spring break trip we came across a go cart place in Long Beach, WA. When Jim handed over tickets for himself and Jack the attendant asked if Will was going to ride too. Little did we know that he could ride with Jim. Boy did they all have fun.
Last week one of my favorite bloggers, Kristen Howerton from Rage Against the Minivan, wrote a post in response to the question should marriages be work? That might be over simplifying the post so please read it for yourself. She was inspired to do so after reading another blogger’s post on marriage and after a debate ensued in the blog comments section. These posts and comments prompted me to think, do successful relationships require work?
The debate seemed to be centered around the word “work.” I actually think a better way of defining it is strong relationships require care and feeding, similar to raising a child. Sometimes that care will be easy and sometimes it will be hard. The true test of your relationship is how hard you want to push through the hard times, putting in the effort because you know that it will be more than worth it in the long run. That is not to say that all relationships can be fixed with effort — some can’t and then it is best to call it quits.
Any parent will tell you that raising children is hard. There are easy times and really hard times (with a lot of mundane in between). I am a believer that the way you handle the hard times with your children shapes your good times. And it really isn’t much different with marriages.
It would be easy to say that marriage should always be bliss, flowers, champagne and chocolate, but that is fantasyland (sometimes I would love to live there). Even in the best relationships, that phase wears off and you settle into real life and real life has plenty of potholes to drive through. The true test is how you re-sync your relationship when it gets a little out of alignment.
My marriage hasn’t always been easy, but I can say it hasn’t been extraordinarily difficult either. We have had our share of stressful situations, including job losses, personal and childrens’ health issues, but we always find a way back to each other. We both care for our relationship and put in the effort to support one another in times of need. Sometimes it is hard to communicate how I am feeling or what I need at that particular moment, but I always try to find a way. And through successful communication, I know the same is true for Jim.
So what do you think, should good relationships require care or work?
Last weekend was the final home game in the current version of Husky Stadium (renovation started this week) and the game was against the hated Oregon Ducks. Jim and I decided to go all out showing our Husky pride with face painting and color hair spray. What you can’t see is Jim’s gold W on the back of his head. Unfortunately it didn’t bring our beloved Dawgs luck and we still lost, although we went down with style.
The boys have been wanting a pirate flag for the top of their fort. Jim had some left over wood and made one for them. They even helped him paint it. So Captain Jack and Pirate Will just need a steering wheel to complete the ship.
Tuesday we spent the day at Suncadia’s Tumble Creek Golf Club honoring a good friend who died last year. The first annual David J. Fanning Memorial Golf Tournament, organized by Jim and another friend, Steve, was a grand event. There were 20 foursomes and a number of volunteers who came from all over to spend the day raising money for one of Dave’s favorite charities. Between the two organizers is Katie, Dave’s widow, who graciously joined us for the day. It was a beautiful day complete with tremendous trophies using some of Dave’s old helmets. We all can’t wait for next years event to come together again and remember Dave.
This post is part of the Project Marriage monthly challenge. June’s writing prompt was “your love story,” we could pick an aspect of our story to tell.
As part of my office makeover project, I found a box of things I have kept from the days when Jim and I first met. Even though it was almost 13 years ago it brought me right back to those days, full of hope and anticipation.
We met at a famous Seattle martini bar on a Saturday night. I was out at with some friends and so was he. Our groups ended up merging after a funny interaction while I was in line for the ladies room; a long story for another time. After some drinks and dancing, we exchanged information.
When I arrived at the office Monday morning I sent him an email asking him to dinner. Yes, I asked him out, thank you very much. Truth be told, he was going to call me, but he saw my email first. We made a date for Wednesday evening.
Over the next two plus days we emailed back and forth getting to know each other. We covered all sorts of topics including, families, siblings, careers and personal interests. By spending this time getting to know each other we had background on each other by the time we got to dinner. A few months later I printed the emails and gave them to him.
One thing still makes me laugh even reading them now. We picked a restaurant that was known for a good wine list. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him that my family was in the wine business or wait until after he picked the wine on our date. When I confessed my connection in email I got a very surprised and relieved response. Although it probably put more pressure on the wine choice that night, which we chose together.
It was fun to reread those emails, remembering those fun days, waiting for the next email to come in. Then trying to decide what flirty language to use, wondering what funny thing he was going to say. Eleven years of marriage, two boys and a yellow lab later I am so happy that I emailed him and asked him out.
A couple weekends ago we went over to Alki Beach in West Seattle to enjoy some Seattle summer sun. It is such a beautiful spot and the boys had fun playing in the rocks by the water. 
Older Posts