Good Sports

It is hard to teach our kids how to be a good sport when we are confronted every day with so many bad examples of sportsmanship. It is no longer exclusive to the NBA or the NFL, it even now permeates the most gentleman of sports, golf.

Over the weekend, Tiger Woods’ former caddie, Steve Williams, helped his new boss, golfer Adam Scott, win the Bridgestone Invitational. Williams has been an interesting subject for reporters over the years, and most recently after he was let go by Tiger. After the win over the weekend, Williams was interviewed on the 18th green by CBS (it is unusual for caddies to speak at all but Williams is known to open his mouth from time to time). He told reporters this was the best win he has ever had. Keep in mind that he caddied Tiger to 13 majors wins and 16 world titles. Tiger paid him millions of dollars in salary of his tenure. Williams proceeded to show his obvious bitterness about his dismissal last month and we are all left to wonder why he would lash out in such an immature manner against someone who has made him a multi-millionaire for carrying a golf bag. Regardless of the circumstances of his firing, it was a classless act and Williams should be ashamed.

We work very hard at raising our boys to be balanced, well-rounded individuals, who are loving and kind as well as strong and confident. As they are starting to play sports we are already confronted with a shocking amount of competitiveness. In our second year of T-ball there is already a push for the boys to be hitting pitched balls, keeping score and making outs. The kids are six. What happened to learning fundamentals, rules, sportsmanship and having fun?

Jack — who isn’t overly competitive in daily life – already gets frustrated when he doesn’t win (including board games). Competition is engrained in most of his social settings with other friends. We keep hoping things will balance out so he and other kids can learn how to handle themselves with grace and dignity.

With all the bad examples of sportsmanship, we as a family try hard to find positive role models for our boys. Luckily we have had an ideal role model right in our backyard for the last four years — Jake Locker, the former quarterback of the University of Washington Huskies and current quarterback of the Tennessee Titans (and Jim’s man crush.) Jake is a local boy who decided to stay close to home to go to college even though the program was a shell of what it once was. He started for four years, including forgoing a chance to go out in the 2010 draft and make millions more than he did entering the draft a year later. He handled himself with professionalism and grace even when he was the quarterback of a 0-12 football team.

Every year the Huskies hold a photo day where the players mingle with the fans and take photos. For Jake’s final two seasons Jim wanted to make sure we were not only able to meet Jake, but be first in line. And we were. Given his popularity, the line wrapped around the field. Jake was very sweet with the boys and happily signed the photo of him and the boys from the previous photo day. ESPN even picked Jake to follow during the 2010 season and aired the coverage during the lead up to the draft. It showed what a good person he is on and off the field. Needless to say we are now Tennessee Titan fans in our house (I am sure Jim’s jersey will be arriving any day now.)

2009 jake and boys

We can only hope that our boys learn how to handle themselves like their role model Jake. I hope that we are able to instill the values of good sportsmanship in our boys, so they understand it is not about winning or losing, but about how you play the game.

How have you taught your kids sportsmanship? What tools have you used?

Parental Guidence Suggested

Why are we in such a rush to have our children grow up? It seems like kids today are asked to be mini-adults basically from birth. There is a palpable and pervasive parenting style that appears to be more the norm than not in which children are pressured to be the best – the best athlete, the best musician, the best scholar. While it is not surprising, it is still shocking the extent to which some parents push their children at such an early age to be better at everything than their peers. Now, don’t get me wrong I think some competition is healthy. But when it comes at the expense of a childhood, what is the point?

What happened to the days when kids could just be kids? There was a time not long ago when they didn’t need to be reading in preschool, hitting pitches at age five, or watching Transformers or Iron Man at six. As a parent there is so much pressure to keep up with everyone else that you begin to consider things that you would have thought were completely inappropriate before. Even if you are confident in your morals, it is hard not to question them when the mob is forging ahead without questioning why and at what cost.

It is hard to sit back and let you kids enjoy life, pushing them just enough to keep them motivated, as others are repeatedly pushing their children to the point of burnout before the third grade.

If you choose to dig in on an issue that is important to you, such as movies, then you risk being labeled as the outcast of the group. I try to be pretty conservative about what movies the boys should watch. The pervasive violence in movies today is troubling to me, but I will save that for another post. A number of Jack’s friends have seen movies such as Transformers and Star Trek (a few of them have older brothers, so that changes the rules, ask me about Will and Star Wars sometime). As a result, he asks to watch them frequently because “so-in-so is allowed to watch it.” What am I to do?

I really want to mimic some other friends who are also conservative and wouldn’t let their ten year old watch Avatar, because it was rated PG-13. He was ten, not six. I just don’t know how I am going to hold out until I am ready for him to watch movies like that. I feel like the ratings are there for a reason and more often than not, are a good benchmark.

Kids are kids for such a short period of time – why are parents compelled to force their children to grow up so soon? Life isn’t a race. It’s a journey comprised of all the vivid memories you collect along the way at all stages. Don’t waste it looking beyond.